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When You Have a Disagreement

Higher job satisfaction. If you`re not afraid to disagree constructively about problems at work, you`ll likely be happier to go to the office, be satisfied with what you`re accomplishing, and interact with your colleagues. Instead of feeling compelled to walk on eggshells, you can focus on your work. A study of U.S. and Chinese employees in China showed a correlation between using certain conflict resolution approaches — those where employees pursue a win-win situation, care about others, and focus on common interests — and an employee`s happiness at work. Speaking of becoming personal, this is something you`ll want to avoid at all costs if you disagree with someone, especially in a professional setting. So, what do you think of these methods of disagreeing with a person? Do they work for you or do we have to “agree to disagree”? Try “I know conservatives have a strong opinion on problem X, but I don`t know why they think this way about problem Y” and not “I feel stupid not to know why conservatives think this way about problem Y.” (Note: Your question shouldn`t contain an apology, Weeks says.) “Resist fashion because you`re provocative,” Weeks says. And take advantage of it, if you can, to neutralize the emotional tension of the conversation and disarm the moment, she adds. It often depends on the choice of words and the tone of your voice. Opportunities to learn and grow. As uncomfortable as it may seem when someone questions your ideas, it`s an opportunity to learn.

By listening and integrating feedback, you gain experience, try new things, and grow as a manager. If a colleague poops to you after an important presentation because you didn`t credit their team for their work, words may sting, but you`re more likely to reflect on everyone`s views before you prepare for your next conference. The latter is great: say “thank you” if someone takes the time to disagree. It may not sound like it, but disagreements are really a gift. If someone didn`t agree with us, they didn`t need to take precious time out of their lives to get involved. They owe us neither their attention nor their courtesy. If they choose to disagree with us in a healthy way, they offer courtesy. Try to recognize and honor the awkward beauty of this exchange. Better work results. If you and your colleagues constantly push each other to ask each other if there is a better approach, this creative friction is likely to lead to new solutions. “Conflict allows the team to manage difficult situations, synthesize different perspectives, and make sure solutions are well thought out,” says Liane Davey, co-founder of 3COze Inc. and author of You First: Inspire Your Team to Grow Up, Get Along, and Get Stuff Done.

“Conflicts are unpleasant, but they are the source of real innovation and also an essential process for identifying and mitigating risks.” And there is rarely a fixed value that can be earned in case of disagreement. If you and your colleague are discussing the best way to launch a new initiative – they want to start in a single market first and you want to enter several at once – you will be forced to look at the pros and cons of each approach and, ideally, find the best solutions. The first step is to decide if this conversation is worth it, Weeks says. If it`s an argument with your spouse about whether any of you will accept a job offer that forces the family to move, you`ll need to have that conversation. But when it comes to asking a friend why she thinks abortion should be banned (and you don`t agree much), it`s worth asking yourself first why you want to have this conversation. Want to know why your girlfriend feels the way she does? Do you want to change your mind? To be fair, it`s usually easier to accept than to confront someone, at least in the short term. And it feels good when someone nods at something we say or admits, “I see it the same way.” That`s what I wanted from Marguerite. And instead of accepting that she saw things differently from me, I called her “difficult.” It was a mistake – and not just because I embarrassed myself in the end. Thinking about it, I lost a potentially productive working relationship.

Imagine how much better the project could have been if I had openly and respectfully contradicted Marguerite. While resolving disagreements on a positive note may require a little more work, the end result is a happier relationship and a happier workplace. Below, nine members of the Young Entrepreneurs Council explore the best strategies for dealing with disagreements in the office and how these methods can move the conversation forward. Pretend you`re not sure if you should agree. This is a common way in which people in the UK disagree. Phrases like “I`m not sure I agree with you” or “I don`t think I have the same opinion as you” really mean “I don`t agree.” In the moments when you feel like a cauldron ready to burst, breathe deeply and focus all that energy on right. make more sense. Do not explode, do not strike.

Channel this frustration into pure and absolute reason. Let this energy work on your behalf. Disagreements are an inevitable, normal, and healthy part of the relationship with others. There is no work environment without conflict. You may dream of working in a peaceful utopia, but it wouldn`t be good for your company, your job or you. In fact, disagreements – if managed well – have many positive outcomes. Here are some of them. Identify a common goal Before sharing your thoughts, think about what`s important to the powerful person — it can be “the credibility of their team or the timely completion of a project,” Grenny says. You are more likely to be heard if you can link your disagreement to a “higher purpose.” When you speak, don`t assume the connection is clear. You should express it openly and contextualize your statements so that you are not perceived as an unpleasant subordinate, but as a colleague trying to advance a common goal. The discussion will then look “more like a game of chess than a boxing match,” Weeks says. Also think about how the conversation will be received.

Some people like to engage in complex discussions, Weeks says. But for some people, some topics feel like they`re pressing their buttons — which doesn`t necessarily make conversations enjoyable for dinner or gossip about coffee. It`s normal not to go, or if someone else raises the issue to tell them you don`t want to go. Consider discussing things, like . B when someone`s feelings have been hurt or different opinions about how two partners spend their money. “The price of not having this conversation is high,” Weeks says. I`ve written about this several times, for example in How to Be More Diplomatic, How to Handle Criticism, and How to Have a Difficult Conversation. To have a good state of mind and control your tone of voice, encourage a sense of sincere curiosity and try to see things from the other person`s point of view. Think about positive thoughts about your interlocutor, as long as they have the best intentions. Or sometimes, when a person uses a rude tone, I try to think, “Maybe he has a headache” or “Maybe he`s having a bad day.” It helps me cool down quickly. With these righteous and positive thoughts, you can now disagree with a respectful and sincere tone of voice. .